Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
