I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
