Michael Bay diarrhea
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
