I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
