Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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