fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
