you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
