y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just tell him i said nine months
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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