i don't like sucking hair
If that was your dad, he is hot
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
a search helicopter?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
