..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
