I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
