the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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