Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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