i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
