So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
