You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
