I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
These tits shall not be calmed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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