Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
