Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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