Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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