Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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