I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
