shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
