During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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