so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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