I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
