You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
