I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
