I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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