on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
