Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The uberlube is also flammable
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
