There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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