College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
