I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
