You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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