God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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