I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
