I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
