Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
