i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
