I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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