Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
