I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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