Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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