WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
