It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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