True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
