We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
