Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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