So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
