Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
